I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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