You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Randomize
