with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
