It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Too much gin, very little bucket
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
