Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
