I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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