tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
This house was built for laser tag.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
