if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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