allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
be right there i have to get my cape
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
