I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
