he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
