So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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