So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
