Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
