He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
