You smell like a Billy Joel song
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
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