I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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