I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
