I hope mine doesn't look like that
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
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