i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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