I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
