i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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