Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
