But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
