I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
