Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
