well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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