So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Randomize
