I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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