I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
