is wine microwaveable?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
