The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
