when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Randomize
