based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
