Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
