It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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