good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
