I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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