does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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