Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
