The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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