My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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