Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
