ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
