I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
