Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
