Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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