8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
