Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Randomize
