Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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