Christians are straight up FREAKS
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Everyone says I win the strip club
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Randomize
